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| im having issues with this whole moving thing....i wish i was going with them... | | |
| It's officially over, and I need a backrub.... | | |
| Not sure how to be at the moment,
So my parents are moving to Hawaii...I'm really really really excited for them...and for me because I can go visit them whenever I want. Of course I am sad that I won't see them very often, but this is a huge step that has needed to be taken for a long time...so mostly I'm excited
I have recently learned that I may be screwed for next semester because I am not in the "professional sequence"...the "professional sequence" allows me to take upper level courses i.e. courses I need to take next semester in order to graduate in four years. If I start the application process now, I won't get into it until after I take my summer course...which means that it may be to late in order to enroll in the classes that I need to get into. This process includes taking the PPST, getting four recomendation letters, filling out a loooong application, and finishing COMS in the summer. PAIN IN THE ASS!!!!!!! im a little pissed that my advisor didn't make this a little more apparent to me EVERY time I went in to see her...she could have told me that i would be completely screwed if i didn't do this NOW...ugh...anyway that's my rant of the month.
Meg | | |
| I have to much shit running through my head right now
im so sad that my family is leaving. i like cry at the drop of a hat...they wont be here anymore to take me out to lunch when im having a bad day, they wont be here to keep me sane when i just feel like losing control. they wont be here to meet the guy i fall in love with, they can't pick my up when my car breaks down, they can't come into chili's unexpectedly just to see me, i can't go to church to spend time with them, i cant go home whenever i feel just a tiny bit homesick, i cant go on trips with them, i cant borrow the bbq, my dad cant come over and fix little things for me, he'll never make me my painting of a sailboat to put on my wall, he won't take me sailing on his lttle boat, i wont see my brother in anymore plays, concerts, or show of any kind, ill totally miss out on his high school career, i wont be there to help him get away from the parents and branch out, i wont see my mom's huge smile every week showing me how happy she is to see me, she won't be here to motivate me...i want to be just like her....ill never walk into my house on 23rd st again, hear that familiar buzz of traffic, smell that odd but comforting smell of an old house...i have no idea what im gonna do without them. i can't even stand the thought of being without them...i know ill get used to it eventually, and im 20 years old so i shouldnt be this attached in the first place...but they are moving to hawaii...ill see them at most twice a year...TWICE! im going to miss them more then ive ever missed anything in my entire life, i don't even know how to handle it right now....
GI is driving me nuts....not sure i can handle that either
i think ive overloaded myself...and its usually about this time of year that i really start to feel it...and now with my parents leaving, GI stressing me out, eric giving me more students then i can possibly handle, 19.5 hours...all of which have something big due coming up soon, dishing out money to every company on the planet, and PMS?! now that i type it out, its not that much...i can do it...right? | | |
| im angry...
i cant get over this intense emotion of anger. im ready to snap at anything that pisses me off. i used to be like that in jr.high. always angry...punching holes in walls and screaming into pillows and now i feel that it is back. at least now i can control it in a more mature way (usually). im mad at new years eve, im mad divorce, im mad at boys, im mad at GI, im mad at money, im mad at hospitals and gall bladders, im mad at myself for being mad, im mad that its hot in my room, im mad that my room is dirty, im mad myself. that is what all of this comes down to. im mad at myself. so get over it. none of it is worth it. | | |
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